Sellers Vs Buyers

STOP selling is a strategy that will let you proactively attract more people to buy from your than would have otherwise. This is because the prospective buyers are actively engaged in their buying process and NOT your selling process.

We have all been taught that no one wants to be sold but every one loves to buy. While this statement has been with us in every sales convention and talk, we are still very much engaged in our selling process instead of helping the buyer to buy from us.

We call ourselves Sales Engineer, Sales Professional, Sales Account Manager etc. We have input into our mind that we got to sell something as the word “Sales” is in our job title. Therefore, we start to sell the very moment we see a prospective buyer walks into our showroom or office. We geared ourselves to sell than to help the prospective buyer to buy.

The prospective buyer wanted Product A from you and you tried to up-sell, or cross-sell him Product B because you think and feel Product B is a better fit for the prospective buyer or maybe Product B gives you better commission or bonus. As you can see, salespeople are always in an adversarial position with their prospective buyers. They create their own barriers and when the prospective buyer walks out of your office in frustration, you concluded that the prospective buyer was NOT a qualified buyer. What a joke. We tell ourselves this joke many times a day as a salesperson, don’t we? We lose all the opportunity that we would otherwise have. All because we were told to “SELL” more often than to help our prospective buyers to “BUY” from us.

This is my Golden Rule in Selling: “If people want what we don’t have, we have no right to sell them anything we do have.

Most salespeople don’t like this statement in my presentations. They find this statement very liberating because they are no longer in a position to apply pressure or tactics on people to buy something that does not truly fit their needs or wants.

Your goal as a professional salesperson is to find out the needs and wants of your prospects and help them get it. Period. Not the other way round. If your company does not have what the prospect wants or needs, you should not spend any more of your time to try to change the mindset of the prospect otherwise. You should state openly that your company cannot satisfy the needs and wants of the prospect. In addition, should you know of any vendor that could possibly fulfill the needs and wants of the prospect, you should openly give your referral or recommendation. Doing so will make you more credible in the mind of the prospect and lay down the foundation for future sales opportunities from the prospect.

When you start to participate in the buying process of the prospective buyer, resistance is lost, friendship is gained. You become a partner of the buyer, NOT a seller. Your relationship with the buyer starts there and then. Isn’t that beautiful?

Another reason we like to “sell” so much because we are taught that our prospects will never know better that us. While this may be true in the technical aspects of our products and services, but the prospect knows their needs and wants best. We will NEVER know them as well as the prospect. To say that we know the needs and wants of all prospects because we have good demographic analytics is to fool ourselves as a salesperson. Every prospect is unique. No 2 prospects are the same.

The adversarial, win-lose, and tug-of-war relationships between buyers and sellers is also the reason why many buyers hate sellers and they prefer to buy online so that they need not go through the same grilling sales process by the salespeople. What a pity.

However, there’s hope.

We just need to change our mindset from that of a Seller Mindset to that of a Helper Mindset. Think win-win or no-deal. Be transparent and honest with all buyers. Treat them as unique individuals and not cluster them within a data group.

I sincerely hope this article would help you open up your mind to the world of helping your prospects to buy from you.

Thank you for reading my article.


Victor Ang

CEO & Founder, Crossbow Consulting Group.


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